Tired

I'm tired
I'm hungry
And I'm beginning to hate myself

Sweet friend of mine :)

- Seng Wai - : ~Discarded Emotions~ | haih says:
i will not let u die
- Seng Wai - : ~Discarded Emotions~ | haih says:
even if i die of starvation!
Unknown Girl A says:
hahaha
Unknown Girl A says:
i noe u will

Imagine...

You were hit by a car.
You were rushed to the hospital.
Through the items in your wallet, the hospital was able to contact your family.
Being the closest friends you have, they somehow found out about the accident and rushed to the hospital as well.
Doctor says "you have 5 minutes left...say what needs to be said".
And tears start pouring.
And then you look at your parents.
You apologise for you have not had the chance to repay the debts as a child of their care.
For you have no had a chance to show them how much you love them and how much you need them...
And how much you just want to make sure they live like royalty...
And then you divert your attention to your siblings.
And you tell them take care of themselves and your parents for you have to go first.
And you tell them sorry for the disagreements and fights in the past.
And somehow they don't recall any.
You turn your head to your friends.
You just couldn't find the words to say.
You made a joke, a not so funny joke at all.
But everybody laughed with tears in the corners of their eyes.
Because this might be your very last joke.
And finally you look into her eyes.
You just couldn't resist to say that 3 words kept buried in the bottom of your heart for decades.
You gather up all your remaining strength and tries to say it out.
Yet somehow, only silent whispers were given out.
There's not enough time.
So much to say
So much to do
So much to obtain
So much to fix
And then comes the last tear from your eyes.
Staring at the ceiling muttering the words "I love you...."
And she heard it...

GARENA!!!

WHY CAN'T I FIND ANY GAME!!!
I WANNA CRY T_T

Have you ever...

Walked on the streets, and suddenly saw a very old man who looked very lost? I dunno why but whenever I see these types of people, I will have a very great feeling of sorriness and regret, as if I've done something very wrong. Looking at them will suddenly make me realise that what happens if in the distant future, my parents are like those people? Looking lost, walking around. You know. They might not even be in any trouble, yet the look in their face just places tonnes of weight in my heart.

Sigh... It's so weird you know. When I see the similar type of people begging money, I don't have the similar feeling. Why when they ask me for aid, I don't feel sorry. But when they are just minding their own business, I feel like that? Is that some sort of undiscovered moral weakness in me? I really don't know man.

This kind of reminded me of a dark past. Something I have never told anyone and probably will never will. It should remain as the past and I'm thankful for everything I have today.

Haih. So cham la they all. I just can't stop feeling bad for them. Haha! Stupid me. That's all for tonight I guess. Stay stupid Seng XD!

Oh no...I've been tagged T_T

Instructions:Remove one question from below, add in one of your own (personal), to make a total of 20.

1. At what age do you wish to be married?
The modern age

2. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Heaven

3. Do you believe in God?
Define "believe"

4. Do you believe you can survive without money?
No

5. What are you afraid to lose the most?
My unlost stuffs

6. If you win RM 1 Million, what would you do?
I'll say thank you

7. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
if him, no. If her, maybe

8. How are you?
Fine thank you.

9. What requirements you wish from your other half?
Alot

10. What do you wish to achieve this year?
Survive til next year

11. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
Nah. I rather go to the future. That way I can skip the study + working life and fly straight to the retirement life. Sweet.

12. Are you happy with your life now?
Not so

13. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
There's many things that are super important to me but I can't pick the best from the best

14. If there's ever a war (or things that are similar) happening in your place, are you going to move to a safer place, or fight?
Fight. I can't run more than 200m straight. Better safe energy and hold off some random warriors while my friends run like lightning.

15. If you have the chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
My character

16. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
You dunno one :P

17. What's your weakest point?
My Achilles' heel

18. What is the best thing that happened this year?
End of last year.

19. What do you hope to be in the future?
An older man

20. What is the one thing you regret most?
Again, can't choose the best from the best.

Tag:
1) Alibaba
2) Mr. Babibuta
3) Butt Woman
4) Scandal Jr.
5) Fats sate

Things girls don't realize....(or they do...I dunno, I'm not a girl)

1. Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

2. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a bitch Goodbye.

9. Giving a guy a hanging message like 'You know what?!..uh...nevermind..' would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

11. Guys are very open about themselves.

12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

14. Guys love you more than you love them.

15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.

16. No matter how much guys talk about butts and boobs, personality is key.

17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, 'Please come and listen to me.'

23. ,b>If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

32. Not all guys are jerks. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn't mean he represents ALL of them.

33. They love it when girls talk about their boobs. haha it's true..

34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.

36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.

37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.

*Not all is true based on my perception, but most of it are LOL ><

Greater is better?

Sometimes I think to myself, is it really better if we know more things? Everyday is like a class lesson for me. Even a simple outing with my friends can teach me so much things. I can feel these lessons changing me slowly. Sometimes it makes me realise the bad sides of me, and other times it make me realise what great people are living out there in this world. Sighs. Guess I cannot boast about being a nice guy now. I'm NOWHERE as selfless and giving as them(not only material-wise but also....dunno how to put in words...understand la :P)

There is this particular friend I really admire alot. Initially when I know her, she really seemed quite perfect to me, besides the fact that she spends uncontrolably when it comes to desires. But as I got to know her, I slowly see the good and bad side of her, which even until now I haven't fully be able to see through her yet. But one thing's for sure, my admiration for her is growing more and more after each encounter. She can be so selfless when it comes to people that are important to her. But one thing really pains me is to see her suffering so much from her sacrifice of time and money. I see her and I think to myself, this is the person I want to be. I want to truly put my friends before myself. And I will slowly learn that along the way.

But what hurts me most is to see her getting those "moments". I wish they never met actually. As they say, what you don't have, you won't miss. Seeing her getting her occasional emotional breakdown and with me being helpless next to her, that feeling alone is enough to sink my heart into the depths of the sorrow seas. Guess only time can tell what will happen to her. Hope for her best la. Nevertheless, i really admire the positive attributes in her(of course there is negative, nobody's ACTUALLY perfect). Lol. Call me naive but she's still perfect in my eyes(perfect with weaknesses...hmmm...contradicting lol ><)

Which brings me back to the topic. Isn't it great if I just stay as the frog under the well? Like in Form 3, my social life was hell and I know so little about women, men and even the sufferings of people around the world. But it is exactly this under-exposure I faced that has made my mood 100% happy all the time. I still remember in form 3 and before, I almost never go angry or sad. It's like I always smile smile smile and make jokes to make other people laugh so I laugh and feel happy too. Spreading joy to people is a great joy to myself. Seeing the happy look on their faces always lifts my spirit way high up. That time I won't even know how to emo XD!

Well I guess taking up stress is part of growing up. At this stage of life I should be mature enough to face my problems, and not avoid or fantasize about how great it would be if I were a boy again. Still, thinking doesn't hurt right? I like my imagination world. It's something I still possess after so many years. It's damn powerful ok. You can imagine I can play with a brand new un-sharpened pencil(which dunno why after awhile I will doze off even though I'm in some epic battle in my imagination) for like almost 1 year before I finally got bored of it lol. No games can match my imagination ok! Call me weird or childish. I like my brain. Of course, it's much less "playful" now. I tried to pick up a pencil and play with it last year(too bored seriously) but it just doesn't feel nice at all. Sighs. Growing older sucks XD!

You know what? I think knowing more is somewhat better. Since we're going to grow more stressful naturally as we grow older, then why not know more? It wouldn't make much difference if its bad stuffs since we're already bombed with reality but those good stuffs can lift spirits! Like when your friend shares a story with you. I love those moments. It makes you feel, significant. After all, I know I don't bring too much of an impact on anyone's life. I'll grab any chances to provide and offer aid to my friends so that I know if one day I died in an accident, at least my life is not a total waste.

Haha. What about my love life? I dunno la. It stinks I guess. No point liking the impossibles. But come to think of it everyone is impossible for me. I too friendly la! All girls I know sure become good friends not girl friend! Ish! It's a curse and a blessing at the same time! Nevermind... I got GOOD FRIENDS. Should compensate for 10% for my curse/bless XD!

Kla...this post is long enough. Initially want to write this post just to wait for my brother to bathe but write until 2.25am adi. Air cond blowing at me at 22 Celsius when I'm wearing nothing but my underwear. Brrr! I go bathe hot water now LOL! K now. Bye!

P.S. - To the person I admire, I know how you feel when you're moody. After all, that feeling is all I get when I'm "in love" LOL! All I want to say is just try your best to stay happy because I know eventually it will pass. You just have to stand strong on your principles. If you say no, means no. Don't let temporary actions shake your solid stand. Oops! Nobody knows who this is! HAHA! Don't care la. If it can apply to you, apply la :D!