Bleeding nose of life~

Our brains sucks. No not because it is useless, but because it's TOO GOOD! Part of the property of a normal adult human brain is that it tends to learn something, then when mastered, ignores it entirely. Don't get what I mean? Is like when you're trying to learn how to drive that time. Oh my gosh how panicky and aware you are of everything on the road!

Your brains will be like "ok right hand turn left signal, then immediately after that, right foot press brake while left foot press clutch, then after that left hand change gear to 2, then both hand on steering turn left". LOL! Sounds like too much commotion for just 1 turning but its true. When you're just learning how to drive, that's all that will be going in your mind. Oh and I even left out look left and right and sheez liddat.

So what happens after awhile of driving? NOTHING! When you wanna turn left, you do it so naturally. In fact, you can even be thinking about a girl or even chatting with your passengers. You can do it with ease. Of course, your awareness level will also be lower and depending on individuals, some let their guards too low until easily involved in accidents (NOT GOOD!).

So from the above example, I just want to point out that, human are hardwired to TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED. Some things in life take us weeks, months, even years to build, like friendship, or love relationships. But once we obtained them, we actually take our friends or partner for granted!

Think about the past. You probably call your friends everyday, every night, go outing like mad and stuff like that without much second thoughts. But now, you would probably try to push your way out of outings by giving excuses such as you're busy, tired, unavailable and rubbish like those. I'm not doubting your legitimacy here, its just that, back then, even when you are equally busy and tired, you would still push yourself to go, because they were your LIFE.

Another form of taking for granted is, if there is a group of new friends that make you feel all important and wanted, and then there is that group of good ol' besties, both invite you for a simple outing, and if you haven't agreed with both yet, who will you choose? If you've chosen the new friends, then you, my friend, has taken your besties for granted.

"Well they are my besties, they will be there for life. These new friends however needs more bonding with". Its not wrong to think like that. Doing it a couple of times is ok. But if you soon realise that whenever your new friends ask you out, and you go out without hesitation, while for your besties they need to keep convincing you before you go, then that has crossed the "taking for granted" line.

Of course, they are your besties, they will be there for you whenever you decided to come back. But just ask yourself, are you deserving that kind of love and commitment towards you? I hope if you are in this category, you would retrain your brains to cherish your besties again, and NEVER EVER take them for granted. Because you will never know when they will start giving up on you.

Another, another form of taking for granted is taking yourself for granted. Some people, like myself, are not raised in a bad way. We do have our good traits and bad traits. Initially, when you believe in "if I'm good, people will like me, I will like me", you will let your good traits explode from within your heart and to the world. This made us heaps more attractive towards other people, and more people would not hesitate to become our friends.

And so your awesome attitude has attracted your besties. Now they are nice, they won't want to hurt you. So even when some of your evil sneaks out of your heart once in awhile, they will still put it in a nice way, or help you defend yourself. Little do they know, they are raising that devil in your heart. As years pass, you, still thinking you are that nice angel you were back then, have unknowingly released the devil within.

It's bad to take yourself for granted. Because if you don't change yourself for the better again, you will start losing friends. Besties stick longer with you, but they just won't be the same with you anymore. The loving desire to spend their time with you will slowly turn into a chore. It's not their fault when you start using them to your desires.

How to know if you have become a person who take yourself for granted? Easy. Your bestie will tell you, or at least give you the biggest hint in the world. If in doubt, just ask them, they will tell you honestly what you've changed, what lovable traits you've lost. Because trust me, no friends would want their besties to change for the worse. And if you truly want to change, they will all be there for you.

Taking things for granted is the most natural, yet most undesirable thing human has. It's needed because we cannot be simply thinking of EVERYTHING(like driving example, or walking, you wouldn't think left foot front, then right etc). So I just want you to give it a deep thought today. Did you take anyone/yourself for granted? If so, should you do something?

A sign of life, and then back to the grave

People change, sometimes for the worse.
Now I know I've changed a lot, and much of it is really for the worse.
If I realise it, I will try to change my ways of life.
But somethings are just not easy to change.

After going through so much in life, I've learnt to know when to give up, and when to stand ground. Now if you know you are wrong, or you honestly do not remember, you should admit it, you're wrong, or you honestly do not remember. You don't go around counter-attacking people with whatever points you can grab. Worse thing is if you suddenly drag in topics totally unrelated to the matter of argument into the argument itself, making things more complicated.

Yeah, I used to be like that. Now I try to just keep quiet. But silence doesn't mean agreement. I'm quiet either because I know I'm right, but I do not have the right points in mind to fight with, OR I'm not sure if I'm right or not, OR I just don't see a point in arguing because all my points will just get countered attacked by some totally unrelated sheez.

I know all my friends love me so much, and I'm hurting them everyday. I know I must change my ways. But I know, among all people, that avoiding doesn't help. So i won't just distance myself from my friends. I'm going to change my ways.

Like all guys, I have ego. But why have such ego? Does winning arguments with my friends be at all beneficiary to me? Now, when I try to think in their shoes, I find that, hey, I made sense, but they too make sense, since both ways makes sense, why not just choose theirs'? You know, as stupid as I sound, the more i lose, the more I'm actually winning :). Losing at appropriate times make me seem like a reasonable, approachable guy, hence my friends treat me nicely. And when I start doing this, i realise, they also find less and less reason to argue with me. If i did something minorly wrong, they will just point it out to me and actually HELP me correct it.

So what's the point for today's blog? I just want my reader to know, to win the hearts of others you must first win your own heart. Think this way, if I am a selfish,egoistic bastard, will I be MY OWN friend? Lastly, I wrote this to remind myself not to become my old self. I want to change for the better. I want my friends to feel that their judgement of a good friend is not wrong.