Bleeding nose of life~

Our brains sucks. No not because it is useless, but because it's TOO GOOD! Part of the property of a normal adult human brain is that it tends to learn something, then when mastered, ignores it entirely. Don't get what I mean? Is like when you're trying to learn how to drive that time. Oh my gosh how panicky and aware you are of everything on the road!

Your brains will be like "ok right hand turn left signal, then immediately after that, right foot press brake while left foot press clutch, then after that left hand change gear to 2, then both hand on steering turn left". LOL! Sounds like too much commotion for just 1 turning but its true. When you're just learning how to drive, that's all that will be going in your mind. Oh and I even left out look left and right and sheez liddat.

So what happens after awhile of driving? NOTHING! When you wanna turn left, you do it so naturally. In fact, you can even be thinking about a girl or even chatting with your passengers. You can do it with ease. Of course, your awareness level will also be lower and depending on individuals, some let their guards too low until easily involved in accidents (NOT GOOD!).

So from the above example, I just want to point out that, human are hardwired to TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED. Some things in life take us weeks, months, even years to build, like friendship, or love relationships. But once we obtained them, we actually take our friends or partner for granted!

Think about the past. You probably call your friends everyday, every night, go outing like mad and stuff like that without much second thoughts. But now, you would probably try to push your way out of outings by giving excuses such as you're busy, tired, unavailable and rubbish like those. I'm not doubting your legitimacy here, its just that, back then, even when you are equally busy and tired, you would still push yourself to go, because they were your LIFE.

Another form of taking for granted is, if there is a group of new friends that make you feel all important and wanted, and then there is that group of good ol' besties, both invite you for a simple outing, and if you haven't agreed with both yet, who will you choose? If you've chosen the new friends, then you, my friend, has taken your besties for granted.

"Well they are my besties, they will be there for life. These new friends however needs more bonding with". Its not wrong to think like that. Doing it a couple of times is ok. But if you soon realise that whenever your new friends ask you out, and you go out without hesitation, while for your besties they need to keep convincing you before you go, then that has crossed the "taking for granted" line.

Of course, they are your besties, they will be there for you whenever you decided to come back. But just ask yourself, are you deserving that kind of love and commitment towards you? I hope if you are in this category, you would retrain your brains to cherish your besties again, and NEVER EVER take them for granted. Because you will never know when they will start giving up on you.

Another, another form of taking for granted is taking yourself for granted. Some people, like myself, are not raised in a bad way. We do have our good traits and bad traits. Initially, when you believe in "if I'm good, people will like me, I will like me", you will let your good traits explode from within your heart and to the world. This made us heaps more attractive towards other people, and more people would not hesitate to become our friends.

And so your awesome attitude has attracted your besties. Now they are nice, they won't want to hurt you. So even when some of your evil sneaks out of your heart once in awhile, they will still put it in a nice way, or help you defend yourself. Little do they know, they are raising that devil in your heart. As years pass, you, still thinking you are that nice angel you were back then, have unknowingly released the devil within.

It's bad to take yourself for granted. Because if you don't change yourself for the better again, you will start losing friends. Besties stick longer with you, but they just won't be the same with you anymore. The loving desire to spend their time with you will slowly turn into a chore. It's not their fault when you start using them to your desires.

How to know if you have become a person who take yourself for granted? Easy. Your bestie will tell you, or at least give you the biggest hint in the world. If in doubt, just ask them, they will tell you honestly what you've changed, what lovable traits you've lost. Because trust me, no friends would want their besties to change for the worse. And if you truly want to change, they will all be there for you.

Taking things for granted is the most natural, yet most undesirable thing human has. It's needed because we cannot be simply thinking of EVERYTHING(like driving example, or walking, you wouldn't think left foot front, then right etc). So I just want you to give it a deep thought today. Did you take anyone/yourself for granted? If so, should you do something?

A sign of life, and then back to the grave

People change, sometimes for the worse.
Now I know I've changed a lot, and much of it is really for the worse.
If I realise it, I will try to change my ways of life.
But somethings are just not easy to change.

After going through so much in life, I've learnt to know when to give up, and when to stand ground. Now if you know you are wrong, or you honestly do not remember, you should admit it, you're wrong, or you honestly do not remember. You don't go around counter-attacking people with whatever points you can grab. Worse thing is if you suddenly drag in topics totally unrelated to the matter of argument into the argument itself, making things more complicated.

Yeah, I used to be like that. Now I try to just keep quiet. But silence doesn't mean agreement. I'm quiet either because I know I'm right, but I do not have the right points in mind to fight with, OR I'm not sure if I'm right or not, OR I just don't see a point in arguing because all my points will just get countered attacked by some totally unrelated sheez.

I know all my friends love me so much, and I'm hurting them everyday. I know I must change my ways. But I know, among all people, that avoiding doesn't help. So i won't just distance myself from my friends. I'm going to change my ways.

Like all guys, I have ego. But why have such ego? Does winning arguments with my friends be at all beneficiary to me? Now, when I try to think in their shoes, I find that, hey, I made sense, but they too make sense, since both ways makes sense, why not just choose theirs'? You know, as stupid as I sound, the more i lose, the more I'm actually winning :). Losing at appropriate times make me seem like a reasonable, approachable guy, hence my friends treat me nicely. And when I start doing this, i realise, they also find less and less reason to argue with me. If i did something minorly wrong, they will just point it out to me and actually HELP me correct it.

So what's the point for today's blog? I just want my reader to know, to win the hearts of others you must first win your own heart. Think this way, if I am a selfish,egoistic bastard, will I be MY OWN friend? Lastly, I wrote this to remind myself not to become my old self. I want to change for the better. I want my friends to feel that their judgement of a good friend is not wrong.

Life-long partner or temporary companion?

Do you believe that when you become involved in a relationship, your partner will be with you, both deeply in love with each other, until death do the two of you apart? Well I'm pretty sure most of you will think that way when you engage in a relationship(unless you just want the sex...lol!).

Since I never been in a relationship before, just want to ask, what comes into your mind when you first accepted your partner's proposal to be your .... well, partner? Is it his personalities? Is it the way he make you feel? The security factor? The undying attention of love? How about the possibilities of a future? Do you see the grey hairs of togetherness? Maybe all of the above? Maybe none of the above? I don't know!

Whatever it is, I feel that if you do get engaged in a relationship, you should at least be able to foresee a future together, one with a complete family at the least. I mean, if you date a rockstar which nobody heard of, and his only source of income is you(cuz he love you babe!), then I don't see how it can work out. But of course, nothing follows "rules" if you remember my previous posts, so if you can still see a future even though that type of situation occur, then go for it. Work hard for the things that is important to you :).

How about those who couldn't really see a future, or due to recent events, the future suddenly became very, very distant, almost out of sight. Then how? Haha! Nobody can answer you because in this type of situation, it is at uttermost unjust for anyone except you and your partner to decide on what to do.

The reason is that outsiders won't know how you feel. They can say "oh yeah I've been through it before and I know how you feel", but do they really know? They can, they might, but those words also spell uncertainty to me. No 2 love is exactly the same, and although yes it is possible that they DID felt it before, but in the end of the day nobody can really justify that for us.

Feelings is like a boundary breaker. Like if you have your last RM10, and you haven't eaten lunch, by the natural law of survival, you would buy lunch. Suddenly, one very sad kid come to you, she is very sad, needs money, you felt very very touched, you might even give your last RM10 to her and rather starve yourself for the day. Feelings can alter what we usually say "should do" and "must do". It is both our flaw and our strength.

So being in love, having deep feelings(or at least you THINK its deep...confusing much? XD), it makes things super complicated. Though my general advice for people who don't see a future in their relationship anymore is to break up, I don't know the feelings involved, and hence my advice is only there as an option for you to consider on.

Of course, there will be those who choose to wait, and pray hard for things to change. If it does, your patience is repaid :D! If it doesn't, you only lengthened your suffering unnecessarily. It's like gambling. Either win all or lose all. So choose wisely. Try to remove the fogs in your mind for a second if you can. Emotion fogs up logic :D.

What about those who only seek temporary companion? Maybe you just want someone new to forget someone old? Once again, maybe you just want sex or attention or stuff like that until you're bored or feels its not sufficient anymore and move on to a new one? Whatever your reason is, STOP! It's unhealthy! You should engage in a long term relationship. You wouldn't want to die alone with/without sex transmitted disease do you? Haha.

That is all...

Single vs coupled ftw~!

For decades now, there has always been arguments regarding the weightage of perks of being either a single person of a coupled person. Lets do this post in point form! :D

Perks of being single:

• Save cash
• No commitments whatsoever to anyone(except family of course! Must be filial :D)
• Have plenty of time for yourself
• Combine the first 3 perks and you can have an easier life because you can generally put more time and effort on whatever project/assignment/work you need to finish up, improving quality and reducing the impact of its workload due to proper time management(unless you're a procrastinator then this point totally ruled out xD)
• Can flirt around with many girls at the same time ;)
• Gets alot of attention (if you're good looking or something liddat)
• DON'T HAVE TO SEE THE SAME FACE EVERY SINGLE DAY LOL LOL LOL(courtesy of K**** xD!)

Cons of being single:

• Loneliness(worsens when their coupled friends tells their love stories, or certain special occasions that were spent alone)
• If no best friend and not that close to family, then no place to turn to for comforting and secret sharing and stuffs like that
• Nobody to take care of you when you're old and frail(applies also to the longer living one of the couple) - courtesy of Alex xD
• I can't think of any now... lol!

The list can go on and on for different people as they experience different things in life, but I think its safe to say that this can be a somewhat general list of pros and cons of being single? Now why didn't I do the same for couples? It's because every single couple in this planet Earth turns slowly...its hard to say i rather stay awake when I'm asleep is ever so unique and different. One shall NEVER EVER SAY things like "she should like bla bla bla cuz that's normal for a gf to do right?" No it's totally not normal. Lol! We are made the way we are, flawed in different ways. If everyone also follows some sort of coupling rules, then what's the point of us struggling so hard to choose and to feel for someone, sometimes extremely impossible to get? Might as well just pick one random person because in the end, they follow the rules and you will be guaranteed of happiness. So yeah, I don't believe in coupling shoulds and shouldn'ts. It's wonderful, perfect, happiness if you follow them, but if you don't also I'm sure something else you possess will somewhat cover that "weakness" of yours. Look harder for these perks if you think your other half you're dating now doesn't follow the shoulds and shouldn't properly.

As much as people can argue about statuses and which is better, I believe that coupling is the only way of living. In terms of biology, you can turn on your TV, switch to National Geographic channel, and it will show you that every single animal in this world have only 1 purpose of living, which is to ensure the survival of its species, which is done easily by mating. So following what Mother Nature did to everyone else occupying this planet, I assume us human should also do the same. Sure being single rocks mostly for its peak drop of responsibilities, but I think for 1 to really mature, he/she has to take in responsibilities and do what we were meant to do! MATE! Biologically speaking of course ;)! Sorry-la I'm a science student xD!

Jokes aside, if you think being free now is great, wait til you're 90 and alone in your gigantic mansion that you worked for with your own flesh and blood. You'll realise how awesome it is to have a lifetime companion with you. At least that person can help clean the darn house xD! Of course, you can always opt to have a loveless relationship with your gazzilion hired maids :D! Because if you have money, you can have SEX! Just no love. LOLS

OMG I FORGOT SHOULD BE IN POINT FORM NOOOOOO XDDD

The 4 stages of L.O.V.E. :D

1. Lust
Haha! Now now! This word does not necessarily apply sexually only. Of course it can also apply for sexual lust too, there are many different people in the world. But for most Asians, we lonely guys and girls would normally lust(defined as crave :D) for a person of the opposite(or same) sex as a companion, usually hoping it to last for a lifetime. This craving for some attention and care from another person is the main reason why many youngsters nowadays "fall in love" so easily. It's like, "hey this chick treats me nice....wad is this special feeling? Could it be love?". Haha! The thing is, love is such a subjective feeling, that everyone in the world can be really falling in love, or nobody at all! Love exist in so many forms, that its almost impossible(statistics proven to be 99.99999999999499999% impossible :O) to find 1 definition of love, and how love SHOULD feel like.

2. Orgasm
Shoo you dirty minded fella! XD! Orgasm or reaching climax is the next stage in a relationship, where suddenly you feel you have found the perfect other half. He treats her well, she cares for him with all her heart, everything suddenly becomes just like a fairytale. This is also the best stage in any short term relationships, because after this stage(remember, i stated "short term relationships"), its to stage 3 and possibly 4 which is a bad stage of course! XD. For people who pass stage 3, much of their relationship will revolve around this stage, where there will be peaks and troughs but nothing too severe that causes permanent scar to their relationship :D!

3. Verdict
So weeks, and maybe months have passed. The couple starts to understand each other. Added with the "challenge of the future"(u know...like have to leave for studies in 2 months, or scared about parents not agreeing with u and stuffs like that), a couple will enter stage 3, which is the verdict. A strong couple with supremely deep feelings(love, in their own definition) and die-hard understanding will usually pass this stage. Some may have damaged arteries and sliced-open ventricle walls, but at the same time their hearts become not stronger but more....mutual...or as 1! They will grow more mature, and will accept and respect each others' weakness and cultures and stuff like that. Basically, those who pass this stage, will become a couple as an entity instead of a pair of human claiming to have "feelings" for each other only. As said, passed couples will go oscillating around stage 2 but those who fail will sadly, reach stage 4 :(.

4. End
What else can I say? Things just doesn't work out. Sometimes the guy cheats, sometimes the girl wants too much, other times they both just realise that initial fire that was there has been doused. To me, "love" is like a fire in a couple's heart and only by constantly "adding firewood"(u know la...constantly showing love to each other and understanding each other and tolerate each other bla bla bla) from both personals can this fire sustain its combustion reaction. Like all your BM teachers teach you, "clap with 1 hand, mana ada bunyi? bimbo ke?"

HAHA! Wish u all never reach the E of LOVE :D!