A sign of life, and then back to the grave

People change, sometimes for the worse.
Now I know I've changed a lot, and much of it is really for the worse.
If I realise it, I will try to change my ways of life.
But somethings are just not easy to change.

After going through so much in life, I've learnt to know when to give up, and when to stand ground. Now if you know you are wrong, or you honestly do not remember, you should admit it, you're wrong, or you honestly do not remember. You don't go around counter-attacking people with whatever points you can grab. Worse thing is if you suddenly drag in topics totally unrelated to the matter of argument into the argument itself, making things more complicated.

Yeah, I used to be like that. Now I try to just keep quiet. But silence doesn't mean agreement. I'm quiet either because I know I'm right, but I do not have the right points in mind to fight with, OR I'm not sure if I'm right or not, OR I just don't see a point in arguing because all my points will just get countered attacked by some totally unrelated sheez.

I know all my friends love me so much, and I'm hurting them everyday. I know I must change my ways. But I know, among all people, that avoiding doesn't help. So i won't just distance myself from my friends. I'm going to change my ways.

Like all guys, I have ego. But why have such ego? Does winning arguments with my friends be at all beneficiary to me? Now, when I try to think in their shoes, I find that, hey, I made sense, but they too make sense, since both ways makes sense, why not just choose theirs'? You know, as stupid as I sound, the more i lose, the more I'm actually winning :). Losing at appropriate times make me seem like a reasonable, approachable guy, hence my friends treat me nicely. And when I start doing this, i realise, they also find less and less reason to argue with me. If i did something minorly wrong, they will just point it out to me and actually HELP me correct it.

So what's the point for today's blog? I just want my reader to know, to win the hearts of others you must first win your own heart. Think this way, if I am a selfish,egoistic bastard, will I be MY OWN friend? Lastly, I wrote this to remind myself not to become my old self. I want to change for the better. I want my friends to feel that their judgement of a good friend is not wrong.