LDR?!

Do you think LDR will work?

Before that, to those who doesn't know what LDR is, it stands for long distance relationship and its used to describe the love life of a couple living at least a country away from each other.

So now we're clear on what LDR stands for, lets discuss on will it last?

The down points

Human are visual animals. We always prefer pictorial representations rather than a sea of articles. So when you can't see your loved one for a long period of time, there will definitely be a huge strike on your emotional stability. One tends to get frustrated easily and feels sad and empty half the time. This will cause tension built up and could lead to arguments with other half for the slightest things that doesn't seem like anything at all.

Human are also an animal who lives in societies, like a pack of wolves or a school of fish. People tend to get lonely and so may look for companion to kill time with. Sometimes they tend to find new best friends this way. Sometimes they even become closer with existing friends. However, sometimes a new love may spark elsewhere. Whatever the outcome, 1 final outcome will normally result if left untreated; breakup.

One will realise the love is gone with existing love when he/she keeps failing in appearing for you at times where you want him/her to be there. Birthdays, failed examinations, or just plain lonely nights, all the failures, each and everyone contributes to the diminishing flame of a lonely heart. This is kind of like weakening the firewall on a computer system where viruses like "I Steal Your GF LOLS v2.0" and "Best Friend Thinks You Should Move On v99.92" will infiltrate the system and destroy a vital system file known as "Love My LDR Boyfriend v0.001".

Things get worse as we start comparing. Human loves dominance and hence comparison is inevitable. We compare everything from salary to results. So since its a built-in function, we also compare our loved ones with every other person in our lives, even the unimportant ones. Guy A was just at the right place at the right time when you were in some trouble, you compare. Girl B is always there whenever you call her out, you compare. Even Dude C whom you know because its Best Friend D's boyfriend, you compare. Soon, you will dread every second he could not be there for you and once again more tension.

So, will LDR stand any chance?
The answer is, yes. Actually, LDR is not as bad as I depict it to be. You see, all the problems I've stated above, if you haven't realised, may happen whether its LDR or SDR(short distance relationship? LOLS). The truth is, people these days focused too much on what they missed, and not on what they had, still have, and will have. If you truly love him/her, and she/he truly loves you back, there is no excuse at all to break up. Every relationship stands on 2 main basis, the feeling of love itself, and the sacrifice that comes with understanding.

Below are 3 types of LDR(using studying abroad as an example):

1) Goes to study abroad but comes back annually for vacation and stay home once completed.
- Its only for a few years. Besides, you can still see each other every year, which is a very good deal by itself. This is the type of LDR where if 2 person truly loves each other, it shouldn't end at all.

2) Goes to study abroad but comes back after course is done(few years).
- Patience, perseverance and understanding is the key here. Holding up alone for a few years is not easy even with the more mature kinds. Undoubtedly, there will be times where you genuinely need him/her by your side to get you through the days. However, if you could just pull yourself through, its another day less until you can see him again. Hang on there my friend, as he/she will come back. Then you will realise all your silent tears at night are worth it.

3) Goes to study abroad and plan to stay there for good with minimal and infrequent home visits.
- Break up with him/her unless you plan to move in with him/her abroad. This is potentially a permanent LDR situation and believe me nobody can survive this. If you are in this situation, then take my word and break up as early as possible. Get hurt badly and then move on. Its not worth your time and the longer you wait the move painful it will become.

Yes, LDR is possible. Believe me. But it won't be anywhere near easy, in fact, it may be harder than hard. But if you evaluated your love and you feel this is worth your time, tears, sweat, blood and other organs of yours(and does not belong to LDR group 3), then you have my full support. Go. Don't be afraid to love. After all, its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Trust me. being hurt after loved is less painful in the long run compared to giving up a love you wanted due to fear.

Waiters are losers

I think I have come to a realisation that waiting is the worst possible option a guy can take when courting a girl. Waiting, a very noble way of showing her that she is worth it, is somehow not at all as effective as a guy would think it would be. The question is, why?

Generally, guys are impatient beasts. So finding a guy who would wait for you is seriously a blessing. Believe me when I tell you this. Nobody. Loves. Waiting. Its like being stuck in a traffic jam at the beginning of mrr2 and your destination is the top of genting highland.

As waiting does not work, persistence however, does. A girl can initially deny all the efforts a guy makes in courting her but its just a matter of time and a number of trials before the girl starts doubting her initial stand.

Well, if you are a waiter, stop it. Go ahead and court her repeatedly no matter how many no's you receive. Because, you snooze, you lose.

Bleeding nose of life~

Our brains sucks. No not because it is useless, but because it's TOO GOOD! Part of the property of a normal adult human brain is that it tends to learn something, then when mastered, ignores it entirely. Don't get what I mean? Is like when you're trying to learn how to drive that time. Oh my gosh how panicky and aware you are of everything on the road!

Your brains will be like "ok right hand turn left signal, then immediately after that, right foot press brake while left foot press clutch, then after that left hand change gear to 2, then both hand on steering turn left". LOL! Sounds like too much commotion for just 1 turning but its true. When you're just learning how to drive, that's all that will be going in your mind. Oh and I even left out look left and right and sheez liddat.

So what happens after awhile of driving? NOTHING! When you wanna turn left, you do it so naturally. In fact, you can even be thinking about a girl or even chatting with your passengers. You can do it with ease. Of course, your awareness level will also be lower and depending on individuals, some let their guards too low until easily involved in accidents (NOT GOOD!).

So from the above example, I just want to point out that, human are hardwired to TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED. Some things in life take us weeks, months, even years to build, like friendship, or love relationships. But once we obtained them, we actually take our friends or partner for granted!

Think about the past. You probably call your friends everyday, every night, go outing like mad and stuff like that without much second thoughts. But now, you would probably try to push your way out of outings by giving excuses such as you're busy, tired, unavailable and rubbish like those. I'm not doubting your legitimacy here, its just that, back then, even when you are equally busy and tired, you would still push yourself to go, because they were your LIFE.

Another form of taking for granted is, if there is a group of new friends that make you feel all important and wanted, and then there is that group of good ol' besties, both invite you for a simple outing, and if you haven't agreed with both yet, who will you choose? If you've chosen the new friends, then you, my friend, has taken your besties for granted.

"Well they are my besties, they will be there for life. These new friends however needs more bonding with". Its not wrong to think like that. Doing it a couple of times is ok. But if you soon realise that whenever your new friends ask you out, and you go out without hesitation, while for your besties they need to keep convincing you before you go, then that has crossed the "taking for granted" line.

Of course, they are your besties, they will be there for you whenever you decided to come back. But just ask yourself, are you deserving that kind of love and commitment towards you? I hope if you are in this category, you would retrain your brains to cherish your besties again, and NEVER EVER take them for granted. Because you will never know when they will start giving up on you.

Another, another form of taking for granted is taking yourself for granted. Some people, like myself, are not raised in a bad way. We do have our good traits and bad traits. Initially, when you believe in "if I'm good, people will like me, I will like me", you will let your good traits explode from within your heart and to the world. This made us heaps more attractive towards other people, and more people would not hesitate to become our friends.

And so your awesome attitude has attracted your besties. Now they are nice, they won't want to hurt you. So even when some of your evil sneaks out of your heart once in awhile, they will still put it in a nice way, or help you defend yourself. Little do they know, they are raising that devil in your heart. As years pass, you, still thinking you are that nice angel you were back then, have unknowingly released the devil within.

It's bad to take yourself for granted. Because if you don't change yourself for the better again, you will start losing friends. Besties stick longer with you, but they just won't be the same with you anymore. The loving desire to spend their time with you will slowly turn into a chore. It's not their fault when you start using them to your desires.

How to know if you have become a person who take yourself for granted? Easy. Your bestie will tell you, or at least give you the biggest hint in the world. If in doubt, just ask them, they will tell you honestly what you've changed, what lovable traits you've lost. Because trust me, no friends would want their besties to change for the worse. And if you truly want to change, they will all be there for you.

Taking things for granted is the most natural, yet most undesirable thing human has. It's needed because we cannot be simply thinking of EVERYTHING(like driving example, or walking, you wouldn't think left foot front, then right etc). So I just want you to give it a deep thought today. Did you take anyone/yourself for granted? If so, should you do something?