Tired

I remember the toll taken on me by public transportation. I came home and immediately lie dead on the floor, right after setting the alarm on my phone to 6.30. When it rang, I felt like dying because I was so tired, I'm awoken abruptly from my deep slumber. I cannot continue my sleep no matter how tempting it is. Lazed around for another 10 min, and off to bathing and choosing clothing for me. They came and picked me up. I was moody that time so I didn't really talked much, though small conversations were made among us. Chelle thought that I already know where we are dining at since the name is mentioned many times. True, the numerous repetition was a dead give away, but I was too distracted to catch those clues that they indirectly gave away anyway. So we just had our buffet dinner at Citadel(if I didn't recall wrongly). It was for my birthday which was 1 day before that day. So I tried my best to enjoy the dinner. It was a typical dinner, you know, laughs and good food, satisfied stomach. Then all of us moved to Chelle's house for a little horror movie. I must admit there were parts that scared me, and those thrilling moments I did look away. But being far less afraid of the show than Edwyn is, I get to see a few "surprise" scenes which he conveniently missed. Darn. Further more, I have nobody to hug, hold tightly, or hide behind of if I'm too scared. Thank goodness it wasn't too much. Oh ya, the horror film we watched was "Coming Soon". Not recommended because I've seen far more scarier movies. Story line is also kind of dumb, in the sense that it's too unreal, illogical. After movie, went mamak then home. As I reach home, I wasn't really too tired. Felt happy and sad at the same time, so I decided to go online to try to ease up on the emotions there. Slept around 4am.

Today, rot at home for half the day because my eldest brother was using the computer. Lately I'm being quite negative due to negative occurrences happening around me. I can't help but to feel loneliness and a feeling of losing things. It isn't my day at all. As usual, Mamak Gang "rolled out" tonight, but we get a break from the regular routine. No takei tonight but instead went adventure to KL. It was a very brief adventure. I spent most of my time dozing off slightly and disturbing Vincent. Vincent(who haven't pass driving) an Alwin drove Reuben's kancil for a small round outside Jessica's house. It was a random moment I guess. Just got to know Jessica is going to leave in 5 months time and although she claims to stay there for 3 years, I'm pretty sure she'll come back to Malaysia during her long break. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I'll miss her slightly too. She did ask me "will you miss me?" but I didn't give her a definite answer. So here's one. Oh and of course today my friend kind of open up a little bit, feeling less depressed and beginning to accept things. I'm just very happy for her. I hope everyone around me will be happy all the time, even if it means I have to be the only one sorrowing. I do mind, but if we look at the bigger picture, it's definitely worth it.

When will I find true happiness? One day, happiness will come solely by itself without the companionship of other negative feelings. I do hope that day do come.