Seng is getting old!?!?!

Where's a munster when you need one? My left shoulder is killing me! I tried everything, twisting it, turning it, swirling it, whirlwind it, even do some weird spastic position with it. NOTHING HELPS! Although I get 3 seconds of relief if I manage to turn my head really fast to the right and crack my neck bone, I realise it might not be so good since th brain is afterall, tofu in red paint. Annoying pain le....hey munster you hungry? Come eat my left arm...can fill your hunger also. 2 birds 1 stone :D!

So I decided, maybe I should see a doctor. So I went to this nearby clinic, and straight away the doctor gasp and sweat heavily. That's not a good sign....loool. Then he told me "I've seen cases like your's before, and I have came out with 5 possible diagnostics, from the least possible to the most possible!" So I say, ok...let it rip! I wanna hear it babeh!

Diagnostic 1:
You have what we chinese call "fung sap" or water in the bone. WHAT? I'm still so young! How can! Fung sap is for old people, you must be wrong! But come to think of it, maybe its true, since it did start aching only lately, and it did only started raining regularly lately. Hmm....omg wei....so young got fung sap adi I'm gonna suffer another half a century...SIGHS!

Diagnostic 2:
You have shoulder bone cancer. Woah, I fainted 3 seconds before he even said "You...". HOW CAN? I have cancer? But there's still so much I haven't do! NOOO! I REFUSE TO DIE! According to him if it really is shoulder bone cancer, I will only live for 6 more months. SIGHS! Must complete A2 only die meh? Don't even give me 1 month to relax after my exams. Somemore....I'm gonna die a lonely man~! Lonely....I'm Mr. Lonely~!

Diagnostic 3:
It is caused by stress. He suggested that my aching shoulder was caused by my emotional depression due to being lonely most of the time. Added with life's already heavy stress, it has caused the joint on my shoulder to be quickly worn out, which is why I'm feeling the pain. Maybe it's true? Sigh then I will need surgery wei....Now AS! Must study...no time for surgery!

Diagnostic 4:
It was an old injury. Quite possible. I remember when I was in form 3, I fought with 4 gangsters armed with metal pipes, just so that I can save this girl. Of course, I didn't win because come on, look at me lol. At least I was able to block one shot for that poor helpless girl they were going to rape, and manage to tank some damage while she ran for help. Help I didn't get, girl I never see again, thank god for one man who stayed near the park for he had called the police. Yeah, be good people is not good!

Diagnostic 5:
I have no idea because the doctor giving you this diagnostics is you yourself. Oh that makes sense. But wait, that doesn't solve my aching shoulder problem! NOOOO! still painful arm...

Sighs....so irritating....anyone know some secret massaging techniques? HEAL ME PLEASE! :(....maybe it is really fung sap lol...